Friday, March 5, 2010

My Two Favorite DMG Quotes, Cocaine and Post-Apoc Metal

What, you think even an iconoclast like myself is immune to allure of hero worship? Besides I've been itching for a reason to post these two gems.

From the 1st edition Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Dungeon Masters Guide, page 71,"Actions During Combat and Similar Time-Important Situations":
".... in a similar vein, some players will state that they are going to do several actions, which, if allowed, would be likely to occupy their time for many rounds. For example "I'll hurl oil at the monster, ignite it, drink my potion of invisibility, sneak up behind it, and then stab it in the back!" How ambitious indeed....As DM, simply note these actions and begin them accordingly. Then, when the players starts to give instructions about additional activity, simply remind him or her that he or she is already engaged in the former course, and that you will tell him or her when that is finished and new instructions are in order."
I love the subtext of Gary writing DMG content with the intent to screw over players situations that annoyed him.

From the 1st edition Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Dungeon Masters Guide, page 71,"Recovery From Intoxication":
"Time is the only cure for intoxication, although certain stimulants will shorten the recovery time....

...Mild stimulants will have no harmful effects.

Strong stimulants have 5% chance per application of lowering the character's constitution by 1 point. This is permanent."
When I read that section as a child my reaction was along the lines of "Whoa! Strong coffee really can fuck you up in AD&D, no wonder us kids aren't allowed to drink it!" Nowadays I am inordinately amused that AD&D included "euphemistic" rules for the detrimental effects of using cocaine to recover from a hangover (it was the end of the seventies after all...). Take that you annoying babbling cokeheads, 1 less point of CON!

As well, it's been a while since i posted any music, so here's some prime headbanging action for your Gamma World/Mutant Future/Post Apoc games:


  1. Good thing we've got three dice for CON, man.

  2. I really don't read that DMG entry as "screwing over" players, it's a fair referee tip, imho.

    That intoxication rule is nasty! Under that rule many of the Algol characters would definitely have have negative CON modifiers :)

    You need Deltron 3030 for that music list: post-apocalyptic, afro-futurist, hip-hop concept album. I can't believe this album exists! There's even a song about Waterworld - brilliant!

  3. If only the the effects of longterm stimulant abuse were limited to -1 CON, it would make my job much easier.

  4. I pulled example #1 in a Vampire: The Masquerade game once and it was got the point across and the kid never tried it again.

    The previous ST allowed the kid to have the game breaking skill of "encyclopedia knowledge" allowing him the chance to know anything in the world. When it was my turn to ST I allowed the kid to use it in the first game and he decided to see if he knew "Mexican wrestling," I allowed this. He passed his roll and decided to do a back flip. I calmly looked at him and told him that he had knocked himself unconscious because while he may "know" how to do this his body does not have the muscle memory or agility to pull off the move. Lesson learned and he never tried to pull that crap or use the game breaking skill the previous ST allowed him to make up ever again.

  5. @B.Portly: So far Dickie Dee has had only 1 minor heart attack...


    i NEED more BLOOD in MY caffeine SYSTEM!!! i STILL have ONE conSTITUTION point LEFT!!!

    (((O_O))) ~(is the world shaking, or is it just me?)