[PSA] Please Don't Nuke Your Blog! & d10 Romantic Misadventures Table

Fellow-Blogger and/or Internet-Acquaintance,

I've been reading your blog for a while, and recently when I clicked my bookmark for it and I recieved the blogspot 404 orange-beige-and-blue staring me right in the eyes. Needless to say I was confused; did I click the wrong bookmark? Did China hack blogspot? Oh wait... I've seen this before... Far too many times...

Hey, I get it, blogging is kind of a geeky, masturbatory time-suck. And BlasTeR_WvlF1986 has been really grinding and sniping at you on both the BullseyeLantern and the ZagygTemple messageboards. But, aside from the fact that I liked reading your blog, there's this one thing...

That Shoggoth Generation table; it was a piece of art! I could get everything from a member of the Cleanup Crew to a Mr. Shiny to a Blob-Kaiju using it. I really need that Shoggoth Generation table for this dungeon level I'm working on...I made the map with your table in mind!

Plus there's also that Uppity NPC Table, and Random Minor PC Humiliations Matrix, and your stats for The Headless Horseman, and that Bowels of the Worm God dungeon, and...

...Anyways, if you want to take a sabbatical or retire from blogging, that's certainly your prerogative, but please don't euthanize all of that useful content you produced! I'm sure you could easily erase the fingerprints and serial numbers off of your blog and leave the corpse floating in the internet for us scavengers to pick at. Your so graciously freely-shared creative output was appreciated, greatly appreciated!

EDIT: Joe-Sky Tax,

d10 Random "Romantic" Misadventures Table
1 - Birthmark reveals that she/he is your sister/brother!
2 - You're unable to perform and cruelly mocked for that by paramour.
3 - Premature. Way too premature. As above.
4 - Overprotective relative bursts in, menacing wackiness ensues!
5 - Everything seems fine...for 1d20 days. Better see a physician to irrigate your urethra with sulphur and quicksilver!
6 - Oh wait, afterwards it appears that she/he was expecting financial recompense for making the beast with two backs with you,
7 - She/he seemed normal, but now wants something illegal before they will "party."
8 - Turns out she/he was a serial killer (or bounty hunter)... d12 for assassin level!
9 - She/he was the princess/prince in disguise; not a fairy-tale, the consequences if the wrong party learns of this could be potentially lethal.
10 - Was a virgin; 01-50% - it is Really Really Awkward, and they seem distraught afterwards, 51-00% unleashes some inconvenient or catastrophic curse, transformation or prophecy...she/he was THE ONE!

Jewel Throne Update-ish Post and d10 Random Aristrocrat Possessions Table

I'm currently waiting on a couple of articles and pieces of art (all of which sound like they'll be great!) and than I'll commence with the layout. The quality and quantity of submitted material is considerable, including two adventures that are pretty much the equivalents of old-tyme TSR 16-page modules; it'll be at least 70 pages. It will be a free PDF, and I'll make sure and format a version meant to easily print out and assemble into a booklet.

This post is pretty boring, albeit possibly of some interest to some folks, so I really should include a random table.

d10 Random Aristocrat Possessions Table
1 - Ivory and platinum snuff box (contents d4: 1 - candy, 2- cigarillos, 3 - cocaine, 4 - cranberries)
2 - d20 x 1,000 gp worth of gamblings markers from other Aristocrats.
3 - +3 Stiletto, silver and sapphire hilt
4 - Folding mirror (minor magic item)
5 - Scandalous diary with many compromising details regarding both the author and associates.
6 - Outlawed Chaos-Demon Cult Unholy Symbol! (d4: 1 - Arioch, 2 - Belial, 3 - Cthulhu, 4 - Demogorgon)
7 - Either a fake mustache or fancy ladies undergarments (dependent upon gender of said aristocrat...)
8 - High tech communicator!?!?
9 - Vial of especially puissant poison
10 - A writ of "Get Out of Jail Free" from King/Emperor/Senate, negotiable by the bearer!

[Category - Bloody Obvious Ideas] Artwork First Monster Manual?

I know there's been a lot of OSR-blogosphere discussion about greater collaboration between writers and artists blah blah blah... (I'm going to be a dick and NOT LINK to said discussions).

Whilst meditating on said subject the idea struck me, "It would be awesome if a bunch of awesome OSR-ish artists types assembled a collection of bitchin' original monster illustrations, and than said monsters were statted out for a monster book (including morale scores and hoard classes dammit! And also Comprehensive Encounter Tables too!)"

The next idea to strike me was "Duuh genius...I'm sure someone has already done that." Although I'm sure it was more like 20 monsters for 3E in a $12 PDF-only product, and done in that full-color, overblown DevaintArt style...

Anyways, a nice thick monster manual of OSR illustrator monsters could be pretty freaking awesome, and I'm pretty much counting on James Mal. to get on this right on this after releasing Petty Gods...

d20 Random Iron Rations Table

1-10 - See previous entry
11 - Salt-cured blubber
12 - Charred pigeon scraps
13 - Pressed earthworm cake
14 - Giant leech bacon
15 - Candied eel
16 - Dried melon
17 - Deep fried swamp lice
18 - Spice-cured manure shrimp
19 - Dry camel ham
20 - Swine-lung pasty

d10 Random Iron Ration Table

1 - Rat jerky
2 - Lamprey pemmican
3 - Smoked sausage (dog)
4 - Sun-cured gull eggs
5 - Dessicated beet slices
6 - Mashed locust wafers
7 - Hard cheese and an onion wedge
8 - Shredded dried carp
9 - Bush tucker (monkey, recognizable)
10 - Pickled frog preserved in grease

EDIT: written on and posted from my phone on my lunch break; I'll have to respond to your comments on my previous post when I get home later today.

Region Statistics - % Dinosaur & % Prehistoric

For example: The Blackened Wastes (Tropical Wilderness Desert, 25% Dinosaur, 35% Prehistoric); The Woolly Tundra (Subarctic Wilderness Plains, 75% Prehistoric); The Slithering Jungles (Tropical Civilized Jungle, 60% Dinosaur)

% Dinosaur and % Prehistoric refers to the percentage of random encounters (and presumably placed lairs) that consist of Dinosaurs (including pterodactyls, plesiosaurs, dimetrodons and the like) or "Prehistoric" encounters (such as mammoths, smilodons, cave men, axe beaks, hobbits, etc.) in the noted geographic area, with a roll being made on the appropriate tables for the composition of said encounter, such as the tables in the 1st Edition Dungeon Masters Guide.

This idea came up while brainstorming comprehensive modular encounter table methodology. Obviously other %s suggest themselves, such as % Robot, % Snake & % Supervillain.

EDIT: Of course I'm an idiot for not stating the obvious % Lovecraft...

My Favorite "Example of Play" Courtesy of MAR Barker

Player : (After considerable argument) "Person number two is carefully reaching out with the point of his spear. He pushes just one coin off the altar toward himself . What happens?"

Referee : (Laughing fiendishly) "That's all it takes to set off the trap. A great metal cage falls clanging down  over all of you. I believe you were all up near the altar - nobody specified leaving any of the party behind to guard the door, and I thus assume you were all within the 20 foot square area covered by the cage. (Rolling percentile dice, giving the party a 20 percent chance to have had one or more stragglers outside the cage area - none were). When the cage falls, you also see that the idol on the altar begins to arise. What you thought was its metal surface was actually its armour. At the same time secret doors in the north and south walls also swing open, and fifty smaller versions of the idol file into the room expectantly. You have now encountered the Demon Kurritlakal, the Cracker of Bones, Eater of Skins, Father of One Thousand Progeny, Spawn of Great Durritlamish . . . "

- Empire of the Petal Throne - The World of Tekumel, page 102