Butts, Dongs and Gazoombas in RPG Art Wishlist

Recently there have a been a few online discussions & kerfuffles about what kind of artwork is appropriate in rpgs, with subjects such as gore, nudity, and the like being issues.

Now, with everyone being different, people have different standards regarding what kind of artwork is appropriate in a rpg product. Unfortunately, I'm not World Dictator yet, so nobody is being forced to play rpgs or read these books; but it seems reasonable that there is room for both "G-rated" products, and "Adult" ones as well. By adult, I'm not talking about SLAUGHTER PORN!, but works that assume that the reader is an adult.

With that all taken care of, as a guy with an appreciation for loutish, lowbrow humour, here are some illustrations I would LOVE to see in an "Adult" RPG product:

- Someone pooping in the forest, with a bare butt, and a snake or giant centipede biting them in said butt. Of course this poor sap would have a shocked/horrified expression.

- A dude running and swordfighting, butt-naked, with his dong swinging about Corben-style. I'm imagining a Cassanova/Lieber story gone wrong...the protagonist is running and fighting his way across a manor roof through an army of angry brothers with a terrified "Oh my god! I'm in it now! I'm fighting naked on a rooftop!" look on his face.

- Some cavewomen or lady headhunters with those dangling National Geographic boobs...and some disappointed looking explorers.

- A pervy looking magic-user using invisibility to spy on a bathing lady.

- Something like the Wolf Witch sequence from Conan the Barbarian or a Succubus visitation, but going absolutely horrible for the poor guy...he's scratched all to hell, trying to scramble out of the pile of sleeping furs, meanwhile the supernatural hoochie mama is cackling with lightning shooting out of her ears.

- Many folks have complained that they'd like to see more women in rpg products depicted as something other than Pamela Andersen in a chainmail bikini. I agree with these folks. I'd also like to see some women in rpgs products depicted with Big Butts...and I don't mean the hourglass figures that 95% of rpg illo women have. I mean the Big Butts that many real life women have. Not that I'm a crazed, gigantic ass fetishist or anything.

- An adventurer, dripping with riches, back from an expedition, in a tavern, trying to put the moves on the buxom tavern wenches...who are laughing at him ...he's humiliated ...they're pointing and laughing, tears running down their faces ...everyone's laughing at him.

Of course, I imagine all of these illustration in Poag-vision. Sweet, sweet, lurid, grotesque Poag-vision.