Cursed Magic Item - Sword Handle Umbrella

AKA - Eventually Someone is Going to Get Shot by a Police Officer *

These items appear to be an umbrella with a sword handle instead of the usual umbrella handle. If used as a weapon they inflict 0-3 points of damage on a hit. These items are actually cursed: the bearer will operate under the misapprehension that this item grants a +3 bonus to charisma whereas the bearer's charisma will actually be halved (round down). The DM must make a reaction roll whenever the bearer encounters guards, bouncers and other security personnel. On a result of "hostile" the aforementioned security personnel will assume that the sword handle umbrella bearer is reaching for an actual sword and will attack with lethal force.

* I'm not badmouthing Tenkar or any other public safety personnel here...carrying an umbrella that looks like a sword is just plain stupid.

Encounter Critical/Mutant Future/D&D "Artwork"

These are some doodles I did over a year ago during the wait for a D&D session to start. I was also thinking about post-apoc & science fantasy, the line of thinking that eventually led to Planet Algol. Wes/Fat Cotton stole my Psychic Bear! I dig how happy missile dog looks, I think he'd be a good sidekick.

Doctor Scale Mail always packs heat and wears his armor vest and rubber boots while working in his lab just in case. Dual-wielding a shotgun and spiked bat does no good against Viper Plaskin slitting your throat. Too bad rat-man didn't smell his cigarette before the attack.

Robotcop PUNCHING THE FUCK OUT of a Martian Tripod?

The text says "Gargantuan Shrimp" in my pathetic scrawl. That saucer-clam looks smug!

Pete: "The guy on roller-skates (actually rocket-skates) looks like a dad!"

There's more than one way to fry a chicken...

One of my (former?)players was not happy when attacked by sand-sharks, "This is stupid!"


Oh no...not the baby!

He looks determined..but inept.

I would not fuck with these two without good reason!

During my 4E Weird Western D&D game, I made a point of describing Dwarves as looking like muppets and walking like Alf...

That's one happy looking giant snake! During the first AD&D Planet Algol game I used this picture to illustrate the fate of a PC...save vs. poison is a real mother at 1st level...

EDIT: The below video fits the theme and is awesome, dig those elbow nail-spikes!

One Of The Stupider Moments of Yesterday's Game

The Party bickers a while before settling on raiding a nearby tower with the intent of slaying it's masters and taking ownership of the fortification.

The party had previously raided the tower, slew the guardian beast, trashed the living quarters, and stole 7,000 gp and five bottles of expensive Earth Whiskey. By now the tower masters had hired some guards from their nearby allies

While the party observes the tower at dawn they see a group of soldiers from the nearby allies of the tower-masters visiting the tower at dawn to perform a changeover of the garrison of hired guards.

During the night they invisibly snuck up close to the tower and sent the thief to scout it out.

I make a roll on my Random NPC Trait table, to determine the "personality" of one of the guards, and come up with the result of "Does not travel during the night due to fear of Nightgaunts."

Improvising with these factors I tell the thief that he hears someone saying "I wish they didn't make us travel to the tower before sunrise, we could get taken by Nightgaunts"

Another Voice: "Don't be ridiculous, that's never going to happen. Do you know anyone who has seen Nightgaunts?"

"We don't know anyone who has seen a Nightgaunt because they come for you in the dark, and besides once you see them it's already too late!"

"You're a fucking idiot, do you know that! Shut up and listen for intruders."

The thief returns to the party and they discuss how they could manipulate the guard's fear of Nightgaunts to their advantage.

At this point my mind starts racing as I imagine the players coming up with some madcap scheme involving improvised nightgaunt costumes, illusions, sound effects, tickling and I get really excited and maybe even pee myself a bit.

The entire party attempts to invisibly sneak up on the tower.

One of the guards: "We can hear your armor intruders! Go away, there's lots of us and we're well armed!"

One of the players to me "I take out my waterskin and shake it..."

Me: "...you shake your waterskin?"

The player "It's the only thing I have that I could flap to make the sound of a Nightgaunt's wings. I wish I had a cape..."

Me: "Your waterskin..slooshes."

The Guard to another guard: "I hear them drinking water!" to the party "Yeah, well we've got water too! Fresh, purified water that's way better than your water!"