Just Imagine...

...In the interstellar gulf of space, against a backdrop of a lurid purple and blue nebula, a bloated, plastic, tentacled, green, blasphemous form floats, propelling itself through the void by the flapping of tattered, membranous wings.

In the foreground lies a starship, dwarfed by the obscene titan, "Enterprise" on it's hull...


...on the bridge the crew a horde battles of phantasmagoria; scaled, snakey man-like things; slimy, hunched frog-fish men; pink, winged arthropods. "These creatures are highly illogical!" the Vulcan exclaims between phaser blasts.

Kirk double judo chops the Mi-Go before him in it's "shoulders" and it crumples to the deck; over the intercom he cries "Scotty! Are you still there?"

"Aye captain, enginnerin' made short work of these fey beasties!"

"Full power ahead Scotty! Full power ahead!"...


...The Enterprise accelerates forward towards Cthulhu; tentacles severed by the saucer-hull go spinning off into space before the starship plows into the looming, hideous bladder-like head.

Jets of disgusting green gases burst outwards at Cthulhu's mass deflates...

Man, I would love to play in a campaign like that!

Mother-Freakin' Slam-Bam Wrestling Rules For D&D?

"....HERE ARE THE GUIDLINES FOR MY CAMPAIGN ‘REALMS OF THE FORGOTTEN” AND THE RULES I USE:...

...SPECIAL WRESTLING MOVES. DROP YOUR SWORD? NO PROBLEM, JUST CRUSH SOME DUDES WITH A HEADBUTT OR A PILEDRIVER (STRENGTH REQUIREMENT IN AFFECT, SO THIS ONLY REALLY WORKS FOR FIGHTERS)."

- From Joesky the Dungeon Brawler (thanks to Gnome-Bientus for turning me on to this!)

I was thoroughly amused by the above, giggling and all. But the idea stuck in my head. I'm not a wrestling "Fan" although I can enjoy it (especially small, local league matches), but the idea of a D&D Fighter having his sword eaten by a Rust Monster only to, without missing a beat, pick up said Rust Monster and pile-drive it's bug-eyed head into the stone dungeon floor!! is far too awesome to not experiment with. (yes, I know about the various "grappling" rules in various editions of D&D, they can fuck off on account of not Being Exciting/Awesome.) Plus I read this afterwards, which really motivated me to continue with this line of thought.

You know which genre characters were inveterate bad-ass wrestlers? Conan and Captain Kirk! (I also need rules for double karate-chop shoulder attacks...)

I also need something spontaneous, something that's not going to be a "magic bullet" weapon such as 3.5s sunder or trip/AoO combo, but something exciting.

I immediately thought of Zak Smith's (the master of awesome, simple subsystem rules) "Lucky Number Kung Fu," which seems an almost perfect fit, although I would change it so that Fighters and Fighter-types are the only ones with "lucky numbers", with perhaps the head-butt and grappling options from Sham's What Price Glory rule packets and perhaps something from this. And pile-drivers.

I'm going to put some more thought into this, look over the 1st-ed Oriental Adventures martial arts rules, and try some play-testing; but for some gonzo-stupid-awesome reason I am obsessed about incorporating wrestling moves into my D&D.

For Anyone Who Missed It The First Time...Star Trek Romance Rules!!!

http://jrients.blogspot.com/2009/08/rules-for-that-ol-kirk-charm.html

Jeff Rient graciously reprints the Freakin' OFFICAL STAR TREK RPG ROMANCE RULES on his blog. I believe that these rules also incorporate True Scientific Realism!

You better believe I'm frantically combining this with the womanizing rules from Ready Refs Sheets in order to have "making a pass" rules for this Sunday's Planet Algol Game...

Usually on Repeat During Combat...

Perhaps the best fighting music ever and so appropriate for Planet Algol. I love the alien worlds of the original Star Trek and much of Algol's landscape look the same.