Saturday, December 31, 2011

[Fortress Eibon] Lair of the Pink Ninja

"Priorities are sorely out of order if you hear that Heraphalmos is in danger and continue to waste time fucking around with ninjas."
- Culumbo
By "Crom" of Red Box Vancouver
Featuring:
Bonspiel von Helmut, priest of the dead god Kor.
Brockmeister and Skeyr (or Keith?), itinerant adventurers from the distant land of Bella Coola
Bugosa the Invisible.
Zodar Khan, priest of Orderon.
Stanley Serpenthelm

Summary
Eager to liberate his companions from the clutches of the Shadow Temple Assassins, Zodar Khan organizes a rescue mission.

Lair of the Pink Ninja
Zodar Khan gathers a team of seasoned adventurers to affect the rescue of two of his companions, who were captured by means of sorcery under Fortress Eibon. Ranndy Serpenthelm sends his regrets and a cousin to take his place, while Bonspiel hires a hirsute member of the mercenary guild as added muscle. In the courtyard of the Fortress, the Serpenthelm hires an impoverished entomophage as a torch-bearer. Their numbers thus bolstered, the party descends into the tawdry pink lair of the Shadow Temple Assassins.

Velvet Underground
No sooner does the party descend to the entryway than a ninja fires a crossbow at Bonspiel's mercenary from behind a set of pink iron bars. The fool is quickly feathered with arrows. Zodar Khan is no stranger to ninja tactics and begins pulling down the first of many threadbare velvet curtains that provide concealment for the assassins. Somehow the paragon of Order becomes entangled. The party watches in horror as the helpless cleric is stabbed by a ninja that seems to appear from mid-air.

Bonspiel's mercenary gives chase and is ambushed by a pair of crossbow wielding ninja covering their comrade's escape. He and Stanley Serpenthelm make short work of the duo, while Brockmeister chases down the original sniper and punishes him face-wise with an axe (something of a signature move for Brock).

A Teenaged Captive
After some perfunctory looting and the Warming Healing Glowing Hand of Kor!, the party discovers a pink bathhouse and Skeyr discovers an invisible, submerged ninja. The assassin stabs the Serpenthelm, minding his own business throwing the decapitated heads of the other ninja into the bath. Bonspiel mutters a charm and the teenage assassin freezes in mid-stab, while the other ninja is cut down, probably by Brockmeister. And probably from an axe to the face.

The party quickly bind their captive and decide to high-tail it to Yam for an orderly interrogation, but on the way out they are surprised by a fiendish looking wizard who renders everyone unconscious by means of a spell… everyone, that is, but Bonspiel thanks to his Silver Brooch. The priest manages to overcome his natural cowardice, due mainly to the fact that everyone else is effectively dead, and charges. The wicked creature casts another spell, but it is turned aside by Bonspiel's Sapphire Medalion. All those who mocked him as a dandy surely rue their words after the telling of this tale!

Unfortunately, the pink iron bars prove too strong for the priest and the sorcerer escapes, cackling evilly. Bonspiel comes to his senses, wakes his companions and they quickly escape.

A Surfeit of Ears
The party has many excellent plans for the captive, which all come to naught when they find him dead by his own hand (tongue?) the following morning. The Serpenthelm puts together a team of faux-ninjas for reasons known only to him while Bugosa makes some of the party invisible and Bonspiel discusses legal matters with the city Watch which surely do not concern an upstanding priest of a respectable, albeit lesser known god, and are most likely entirely the fault of that dastard who has been impersonating him.

Several ears are delivered to the party's rooms, but this is apparently of very little concern to anyone. Likewise evidence that Hyrophalmos's life is in danger. The party returns to Fortress Eibon.

Still with the Ninjas
The party briefly discusses other options but decides to push their presumed advantage in the pink area. Judicious use of flaming oil by the highly accurate (and invisible) Skeyr, plus some completely ineffective scouting by two slaves dressed as ninja, and some shameful desecration of their bodies, results in two or three more ninja being cornered and sent to their graves.

Bonspiel and Stanley nearly come to blows over it, but eventually pry a pair of iron doors open, much bruised and exhausted for the effort. On the other side is a strange, pillared hallway with pleasant, cinnamon-scented mist… and two warriors with buckets strapped to their heads, feeling their way toward the party, swinging axes blindly. Bonspiel's charm renders the large, red-skinned, camel-necked one immobile, and Brockmiester's axe renders the small, Dwarfish, withered-armed one brainless.

The party binds their captive and retreats to Yam, where they set about restoring the red-skinned Fighting Man Riki to his former mental state, and Bonspiel quietly distances himself from the group, in order to prevent further legal entanglements.

Total Losses/Loot
A very weak Dwarf with a bucket lashed to his head was put out of his misery. Eight or nine teenage assassins were also bested, depending on who you talk to.

1 comment:

  1. The dwarf and the first nations guy aren't much of a punchline without the setup:
    http://redvan.wikidot.com/forum/t-424090/eibon-gossip-zodar-s-tale-of-tiffany-s#post-1337009

    ReplyDelete