Wednesday, August 15, 2012

[Random Table] What does the Elf Bleed?

1- sea foam
2 - semen
3 - sand
4 - plasma
5 - sunlight
6 - hummingbirds
7 - iridescent bubbles
8 - wind
9 - flower petals
10 - honey

20 comments:

  1. This is one of the more disturbing tables I've seen lately.

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  2. Replies
    1. 12. Cider

      (I would also think that if you stab a dwarf in the guts wound would release a torrent of beer.)

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    2. I was thinking about booze, but I couldn't come up with anything elf-y enough until I thought of sparkling wine/Champagne.

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  3. Oh, I misread the title as "What does the elf breed?" - nonetheless, this is very nice.

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  4. Ran my daughter through her first dungeon crawl over the weekend. Her fairy got grazed by an orc arrow and bled butterflies.

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    Replies
    1. Awesome! I thought of butterflies, but went with Hummingbirds as they strike me as stranger.

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    2. Yeah, hummingbirds is really a beautifully surreal choice.

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  5. Now you need a table to determine what KIND of semen bleeds out of a semen-bleeding elf.

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    Replies
    1. Some of the rulebooks have a table for the spell Resurrection - I would use that :D

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    2. Eleven semem obviously...

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  6. Time to go cut some elves and see . . .

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  7. If I would use this table I would bowdlerize semen to "milk".

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    Replies
    1. I was thinking of milk but I think cream is more elf-y.

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    2. Yah, here too. Actually semen is so androcentric. Think I might go the other way:

      * Egg - Their skin cracks and yolk and white bleed out.

      * Eggs - Frog eggs or salmon roe pour from the wound.

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