Wednesday, August 15, 2012

[Random Table] What does the Elf Bleed?

1- sea foam
2 - semen
3 - sand
4 - plasma
5 - sunlight
6 - hummingbirds
7 - iridescent bubbles
8 - wind
9 - flower petals
10 - honey

20 comments:

  1. UnknownAugust 15, 2012 at 11:11 AM

    This is one of the more disturbing tables I've seen lately.

    ReplyDelete
  2. PatAugust 15, 2012 at 11:39 AM

    11. Beer

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JonasAugust 15, 2012 at 11:26 PM

      12. Cider

      (I would also think that if you stab a dwarf in the guts wound would release a torrent of beer.)

      Delete
    2. BlairAugust 16, 2012 at 3:30 PM

      I was thinking about booze, but I couldn't come up with anything elf-y enough until I thought of sparkling wine/Champagne.

      Delete
  3. Ynas MidgardAugust 15, 2012 at 1:14 PM

    Oh, I misread the title as "What does the elf breed?" - nonetheless, this is very nice.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Peter K.August 15, 2012 at 2:30 PM

    Ran my daughter through her first dungeon crawl over the weekend. Her fairy got grazed by an orc arrow and bled butterflies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BlairAugust 16, 2012 at 3:30 PM

      Awesome! I thought of butterflies, but went with Hummingbirds as they strike me as stranger.

      Delete
    2. R ParkerAugust 19, 2012 at 12:33 AM

      Yeah, hummingbirds is really a beautifully surreal choice.

      Delete
  5. JohnstoneAugust 15, 2012 at 5:23 PM

    Now you need a table to determine what KIND of semen bleeds out of a semen-bleeding elf.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ynas MidgardAugust 15, 2012 at 5:47 PM

      Some of the rulebooks have a table for the spell Resurrection - I would use that :D

      Delete
    2. MalcadonAugust 16, 2012 at 2:17 PM

      ...or ejaculates. XP

      Delete
    3. BlairAugust 16, 2012 at 3:31 PM

      Eleven semem obviously...

      Delete
  6. TelecanterAugust 15, 2012 at 9:51 PM

    Time to go cut some elves and see . . .

    ReplyDelete
  7. JonasAugust 15, 2012 at 11:28 PM

    If I would use this table I would bowdlerize semen to "milk".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BlairAugust 16, 2012 at 3:29 PM

      I was thinking of milk but I think cream is more elf-y.

      Delete
    2. Peter K.December 31, 2012 at 6:47 PM

      Yah, here too. Actually semen is so androcentric. Think I might go the other way:

      * Egg - Their skin cracks and yolk and white bleed out.

      * Eggs - Frog eggs or salmon roe pour from the wound.

      Delete
  8. JoshuaAugust 20, 2012 at 8:58 AM

    Consider this idea nicked.

    ReplyDelete
  9. UnknownNovember 19, 2012 at 8:32 PM

    13. Sap.

    ReplyDelete
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