Thursday, May 5, 2011

Whomever Invented the Riding Dog for 3rd Edition...

....obviously did not own a dog.

25 comments:

  1. Stefan PoagMay 5, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    Haha! As a dog owner, I have to concur that the idea of sitting on top of giant rottweilers and riding them up and down dungeon corridors seems more improbable than unicorns and sex with modrons.

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  2. Il Male™May 5, 2011 at 12:47 PM

    Sex with modrons? LOL

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  3. JDJarvisMay 5, 2011 at 1:10 PM

    I used to ride the family dog Woodstock when I was 2, he was a big german Shepard mix.

    it's possible to ride a dog: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98fxCgedxnE

    Not much sillier the a dude with pointy ears conjuring fireballs.

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  4. C'nor (Outermost_Toe)May 5, 2011 at 2:15 PM

    Riding dog = Genetically and/or magically engineered wolfhound.

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  5. AnonymousMay 5, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    I find it to be a silly image, and it conjures memories of Labyrinth. If that's your bag, go with it, but it would never fit in my idea of a D&D world. I also don't like badgers as opponents in D&D, no matter how fierce they may be in real life.

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  6. Greg JohnstonMay 5, 2011 at 4:34 PM

    Even Dire badgers?

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  7. AlexeyMay 5, 2011 at 4:50 PM

    Badger-liches?

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  8. RoboMay 5, 2011 at 6:21 PM

    That's why the Germans knew the only use for dogs as war transport was by pulling carts.

    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v202/co_aytch/tumblr_lkdg2fLSta1qcsla3o1_500.jpg

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  9. Chris KutalikMay 5, 2011 at 6:43 PM

    There was this David Weber series of books set on a planet with roughly Civil War technology very earnest in tone--in which they characters rode dogs. It was just such a painfully stupid mental image that I couldn't make it through the first book.

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  10. Chris KutalikMay 5, 2011 at 6:47 PM

    I meant David Drake not Weber.

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  11. Dyson LogosMay 5, 2011 at 8:09 PM

    As an ex- dog owner, I totally grok riding dogs.

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  12. Stefan PoagMay 5, 2011 at 8:53 PM

    Well, my dog sometimes sits on my lap.

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  13. MalcadonMay 5, 2011 at 9:05 PM

    They might have been fans of Gamma World? LOL

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  14. AnonymousMay 6, 2011 at 4:41 AM

    My campaign worlds have have dwarven riding lizards for a very long time now.

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  15. Matt FinchMay 6, 2011 at 6:41 AM

    Big dogs have bad hips.

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  16. JDJarvisMay 6, 2011 at 7:43 AM

    @matt, that's why you ride up by the shoulders not down on their hips.

    I find it odd folks find this issue too silly but an awful lot of other D&D gets a pass. Sure we have lot's of real life experience with dogs so that can cause some skepticism, but we have darned little real life experience with riding dogs , or dragons, or elves, or dudes in pointy hats casting spells...

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  17. Erin SmaleMay 6, 2011 at 11:39 AM

    I find it odd folks find this issue too silly but an awful lot of other D&D gets a pass.

    I think you nailed it: because we actually have dogs in the real world, and because we don't use them as mounts, it's harder to suspend disbelief.

    But the flumph? Natch.

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  18. Stefan PoagMay 6, 2011 at 11:42 AM

    Yeah, J.D., I'm not going to get into the physics of it or whether or not a dog is as suited for riding as a horse or a pony or a goat or a pig... I just imagine that if I were small enough and my dog were big enough that I could saddle her up and sit on her back, she would probably spend all day trying to turn around so she could see me while I was sitting on her shoulders and I would just get really dizzy. Plus if we were riding along and she came upon a pile of fresh goose poop, she would insist on either eating it (yuck) or rolling in it (even worse).
    No riding dogs for me. If I come back as a little person, I'll saddle up a goat or a pigh or a Shetland pony.

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  19. BlairMay 6, 2011 at 4:44 PM

    Wow, I'm amazing that this "quip" post that took a minute to write is one of the most commented upon posts on this blog.

    @ Limpley: The rolling in poop issue is why I I find a riding dog funny; and I'm also wondering if the 3E design team was thinking something along the lines of "God forbid that the Halflings make do with something lame and uncool like a pony!"

    However, for some reason, I do dig Gamma World Podogs; hypocrisy is the greatest luxury...

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  20. BlairMay 6, 2011 at 4:45 PM

    @ Robo: Look at those happy, goofy German Shepards! It must be the "before" picture...

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  21. huthMay 8, 2011 at 5:59 PM

    I thought 'Riding Dogs' were just the Lawful version of Goblin Riding Wolves...

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  22. AnonymousMay 9, 2011 at 6:12 PM

    Sure, huth. Traditionally domesticated animals like dogs, horses, oxen, sheep, pigs, etc. are well-associated with humanity, while "wild" undomesticable animals like the bear, tiger, snake, and shark are associated with the nonhuman wilderness. This is part of why they feel more comfortable to us - they do what we say!

    Note that trained animals are different from domesticated ones.

    I think wolves got a bad rap from European wolf-killing practices (they eat food we want to eat, so butcher them all!) otherwise they might be seen as just proto-dogs or something.

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  23. AnonymousMay 9, 2011 at 6:14 PM

    Oh man now we need Riding Flumphs. Of course there is no such thing as a War Flupmh. Who would ride them?

    Fraggles.

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  24. huthMay 9, 2011 at 7:07 PM

    I gotcher Flumphs right here...

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  25. richardMay 10, 2011 at 3:07 AM

    Riding shark. YES riding snake.

    Who would ride them? Fraggles.
    Genius. Maybe highly sexualized Fraggles.

    I'd allow riding ostriches, ruminants and giant bugs. I dislike riding members of the weasel family - I reckon they'd just reach right back and bite the rider - and riding cats just seems wrong to me, but you know, it's fantasy (waves airily as if that was an argument).

    My irritable flying riding whale. You go wherever he wants to go.

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